Less than a week after the 2012 Presidential election, the country and the press fixated on another topic: General David Petraeus and his “allies.”

A Modern Four-Star General
November 13, 2012

From high atop the C.I.A.,
Behaving like a D.S.K.
And sending saucy emails out,
Petraeus was a fool, no doubt,
To think he’d have the pull and clout
To secretly betray and flout
The CIA and Army rules . . .
But love-struck men are always fools.
And Doctor Freud would surely say
Petraeus had an urge to stray
And let the country know that he
Is more than what we plainly see:

Commander in Afghanistan,
The author of a master plan.
An expert on insurgency,
So calm in an emergency.
Authoritative on Iraq,
Unruffled by a ground attack.
A modern major general
Whose feats are not ephemeral!

But David wanted even more!
He showed the troops that he could score,
And do it underneath a desk
With someone fit and statuesque!

In prior wars, our men were told,
Be watchful, wary, and controlled,
And don’t be charmed by swaying hips
’Cause loosened lips might sink our ships.

Yet David opted to adore
A biographic paramour;
A West Point grad who earned his trust
Became the object of his lust.
Her well-honed brain and well-toned arms
Were chief among her many charms.

The Broadwell broad is army-trained,
So disciplined and well restrained,
Yet envy made her lax and mean,
Behaving like a jealous teen.
Her careless emails were the start
Of how her lover fell apart.
A female email trail derailed
An Alpha male who clearly failed
To live up to his mythic hype–
The noble leader archetype.
Perhaps that image all along
Was propaganda, false and wrong.