This fall, whenever I turn on the TV to watch the candidates debate, these lyrics from Mrs. Robinson enter my head:

“Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon.
Going to the candidates’ debate.
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you’ve got to choose
Every way you look at this you lose.”
— from Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel

And then I wrote my own rhyme:

Election Selection (Nov. 9, 2015)

Carson, you can slice a brain
But somehow you cannot explain
Your opposition to vaccines
And doubts about your wayward teens.

Rubio, your spending woes
Are catnip to your jealous foes.
But still, your brash and youthful charm
Has put the Bush team on alarm.

Jeb, we thought you’d be the heir,
Not bullied by a billionaire.
Are you as hapless as you seem
While limping toward your parents’ dream?

Trump, your xenophobic glee,
And paucity on policy,
And joy at playing bottom feeder
Combine to show you’re not a leader.

Hillary, you lead the pack
But earnest Bernie’s not far back
He’s consistent, frank, sincere,
While your positions sway and veer.

Bernie, you’re surprising all
We thought by now you’d surely stall
But is our country, in your view,
Ready for a lefty Jew?.

Poor O’Malley, you lean left
But your campaign won’t pick up heft
Yet voters now are keeping tabs
On who has got the firmest abs.

So . . . watch the candidates debate!
Will they lie or play it straight?
Will they duck or take the bait?
Are they fit for head of state? □